is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize