i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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