dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
