they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
