Fine. I'll sleep in my office
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
