come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
