i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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