just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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