no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
