His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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