stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
