i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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