I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
