I intend to get homeless drunk
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
