Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
