You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
