people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
