So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
