I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
