I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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