38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
