Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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