it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
