The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
