I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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