You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
