so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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