OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think a kid would responsible me up
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
