Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
