Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
