is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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