HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
