Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
