talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
