Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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