Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well I just put wine in my tea
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
