We're facebook friends in real life
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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