Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
