..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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