Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
