How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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