sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
