***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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