i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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