I'd wear matching sweaters with you
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
