thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
