One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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