That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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