i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
