is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
