All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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