doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
