you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
