I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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