i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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