yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
