He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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