His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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