I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize